Love is not enough, some other things, you will be needing to make your marriage work.
The period of Courtship is a very deceitful period, truth is there is almost no way your spouse wont pretend.
When you get married, the chips are down, the cards are all on the table, the party is over, Sweetheart you will be needing more than love, to keep this marriage together, how many couples have you met that were once head over heels in love, but still ended up in divorce? This simply buttresses the fact that love is not enough, here are some other gadgets you will be needing, in your journey.
Prayer: it’s a major key you can’t do without, ‘except the lord builds a house, they labor in vain that build it’. (psalm 127:1)
It’s pertinent that you pray for wisdom and grace to keep standing, no matter what.
Patience : you will be needing a whole lot of patience, you can never have enough. don’t jump into an argument over everything, a times its better you don’t say a word in the heat of it,
Relax,
Take a stroll,
Listen to good music,
Watch a film,
Read a good book,
stay calm until both of you are very relaxed, then you can revisit the issue with a friendly approach, learn not to enforce your opinion, make it an open suggestion, most times your spouse might not take it immediately, but it will hover round his/her thoughts when alone, they usually give it a second thought, however even if your opinion is not adopted, don’t feel bad about it, you a married to a full grown human being who Is responsible for his/her decision.
Maturity : patience is quiet close to maturity, however maturity is being able to absorb, any level of shock, and smile about it, I learnt many lessons from Pastor Bimbo Odukoya (O.B.M) One of which is that, you can never know your spouse enough, no matter how long the courtship or marriage is, there will always be incidents that will shock you.
I didn’t know my father spoke Ibo until I was eighteen, and we were very spoke.
I know about two men who didn’t know that their wives had children, until after several years into the marriage.
The heart of man is very deep, you can only know what is released to you, whatever comes up, handle everything maturely.
Money: there really is no romance without finance, if your woman married you as a pauper, its not because she loves you, most times its because she’s desperate. once you are married the table will turn, I don’t subscribe to men not doing anything, I’m sorry you will lose your respect as a man, please get to work, throw out your certificate, lay your hands on anything you can get, work!
You will be needing money, a lot of it, women should also get to work, raising children might not be easily put together with working, but that’s no excuse, contribute to your family finance, in your own way, think deeply there is always something you can do around you
Sex: I have had to treat a lot of issues bothering on sex, I realize that most times, couples don’t have a common ground, when it comes to sex, its either one person is not giving enough, or one person is asking too much. Truth is some people actually do not like sex, while some are not enjoying sex with their spouses, when this happens, it won’t be easy to have pleasure in sex.
Sit down, and trash it out, be very open to criticism, speak out your mind, if your wife thinks you ask too much, explain to her that, thats was why you got married, if your husband thinks you are not giving enough, accept responsibilities, and live up to your expectations, always remember that sex is not for children, it is hard work.
Communication : every relationship will grow, when watered by communication, don’t allow your temperament tamper with your channel of communication, no matter how quiet and reserved you are, always talk to your spouse, say your mind, don’t assume, don’t think on his behalf, don’t say he ought to know, honestly a times he might not know, talk, talk, talk.
Divorce should never come to your mind, never compare your spouse to your ex, or any other person, we all have our strengths and weaknesses. Make up your mind to make your marriage last a life time, there is no better option to your spouse, that person also has a bunch of flaws , the grass is always greener on the other side, all the best, `God bless you, I love you.
Omowunmi is a freelance writer and a public speaker based in Nigeria.
Twitter: @omowunmiayoka
Bb 55df6879
Website: www.omowunmayoka.com
0 Comments